


If It Weren't For You Meddling Kids

by casual alien (creamsicleSteam)



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Aliens, Crime Fighting, Minor Character Death, Multi, but more like scooby doo bc theyre not feds, x files inspired
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 09:15:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5822926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creamsicleSteam/pseuds/casual%20alien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An alien chasers au nobody asked for </p><p> </p><p>"Guys, guys, this is it, this time I'm sure of it." Gavin says from the passenger seat.</p><p>"Gavin, you've said that every time we've gone after one of your little leads." Michael huffs from somewhere in the back of the vehicle.</p><p>"Now, now, kids. Let's not fight. I'm sure Gavin has something real good for us to debunk this time." Gavin glares at Ryan in the rear view mirror. It's not <i>his</i> fault the last UFO's were kids playing with lasers in some fog. Or that the time before that was some drunkard dressing up to have a laugh scaring the locals. Or the time some washed up photographer decided to fuck around with photoshop. None of that was <i>his</i> fault.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If It Weren't For You Meddling Kids

**Author's Note:**

> so with the new xfiles happening there were some old marathons going on and my mother accidentally got me into it so i thought  
> alien chasers ah 
> 
> if you notice any spelling errors or anything let me know!

"Guys, guys, this is it, this time I'm sure of it." Gavin says from the passenger seat.

"Gavin, you've said that every time we've gone after one of your little leads." Michael huffs from somewhere in the back of the vehicle.

"Now, now, kids. Let's not fight. I'm sure Gavin has something real good for us to debunk this time." Gavin glares at Ryan in the rear view mirror. It's not _his_ fault the last UFO's were kids playing with lasers in some fog. Or that the time before that was some drunkard dressing up to have a laugh scaring the locals. Or the time some washed up photographer decided to fuck around with photoshop. None of that was _his_ fault.

They'd been driving for hours at this point, everyone taking turns driving but Gavin. It was well past sunset and everything was lit only by their lone headlights. They hadn't seen another vehicle for miles. The town they were headed for had reportings of UFO sightings for the past couple months consecutively and Gavin, Geoff and Jeremy all thought it worth checking out. Jack, Ryan and Michael more or less only along for the ride. 

"Don't pick on him too much. It's not like you fucks have anything better to do with your lives." Geoff butts in from the drivers seat. 

"Geoff, I was an electrician." Michael replies.

"Yeah, nothing better to do." 

"Alright, according to the map, which I still think is ridiculous, by the way, we all have phones, we're about half an hour from there." Jack pipes up from behind Gavin. "Did you find out where we're gonna stay yet? Wasn't it your turn to do that, Jeremy?"

"Yes, it was." Jeremy pauses. "No, I haven't. I'll do that now." 

There was a lull in conversation again after that, the only lights in the vehicle coming from phones before Jeremy spoke up again. 

"Hey guys..." He started.

"Yeah." The other five responded in unison.

"Alright, just wanted to make sure I wasn't the-"

"Wait, Geoff, you're driving, what's going on?" Jack Interrupted Jeremy, very concerned for the wellbeing of everyone in the van. Everyone's phones had suddenly gone totally haywire, opening and closing apps, flipping through photos and being entirely uncooperative and unresponsive.

"I don't know! Look!" He gestures toward the dash at the rapidly dimming and brightening lights. The radio turns on suddenly at full blast startling everyone in the car quickly switching between stations and increasing and decreasing in volume. Then the car simply turns off. Geoff tries to start the car again, but it doesn't turn on.

"The battery must've died. The lights aren't even coming on." In fact, nothing battery operated was on in the car at all. 

Gavin checks his watch. 11:17PM.

Everyone is blinded briefly by a light coming from above.

 

When the light dims and everyone regains their bearings they all stop and pile out of the vehicle.

Geoff finds a can of spray paint and paints an X across the lane behind the van. He rejoins he group to Gavin insisting they'd lost time.

"Yes I'm sure! I checked my watch before the light hit us and it was 11:17! Now its 11:29! We lost eleven minutes!" Gavin went on despite the clear disbelief on everyone but Jeremy's faces.

"Gavin, time doesn't just disappear. You must've read it wrong." Ryan states very firmly. 

"No, He's probably right." Geoff stokes his beard in consideration.

"UFO sightings are often reported with loss of time. It's pretty common, I don't think he's wrong here." Jeremy agrees. Gavin gives them each a look of gratitude.

"There's no fucking way we just lost that much time. You can't just lose time like that." Michael looks a mix between outraged and appalled. 

"And yet here we are," Gavin checks his watch, "fifteen minutes later with no memory of nine of them. I say we go for a walk and check out the area. We might find something interesting." Raised eyebrows in excitement leave no room for argument.

"Triple buddy system!" Jack shouts immediately, knowing there would be no arguing with Gavin and Geoff about this. The least he can do to assure his peace of mind is making sure no one goes off alone.

"Lads and Gents. You guys can head in that direction," Geoff points to one side of the road, before pointing to the other "and we'll go this way. Let's do our best to not anger Mama Bear. Please stick together this time guys." Geoff shudders, remembering the passive aggressive fury that was Jack last time someone got lost in the woods on one of their ventures. He was also extremely worried, but Jack just doesn't take kindly to going and getting lost on a venture he doesn't entirely think is sane.

"Oh, our phones should work now by the way, mine just turned back on." Jeremy informed everyone. 

"Let's try to not all get eaten by bears. Call us if anything happens." Ryan says and with that the two teams head out into their different directions. 

 

"Gav, Jeremy, let's just head back we've been out here for half an hour, it's fucking midnight and I'd like to actually sleep before you drag us all out again tomorrow morning." Michael complains from behind the other two lads. 

"Five more minutes, just five more minutes then we can head back." Gavin pleads. His attention quickly shifts to Jeremy though, when he hears Jeremy's nervous voice from somewhere to his left.

"Uh, guys... You might wanna call Ryan over here." 

Gavin and Michael make their way over to where Jeremy stands at the edge of a small clearing. 

Gavin starts gagging immediately. Turning away from the sight in the clearing he manages to speak between gags. Michael turns away for a minute, not having expected the sight he received.

"I'll call Ryan."

In the middle of the clearing lay the body of a young person. 

Michael, having taken a moment to compose himself a bit, turns to look at the body again, finding Jeremy already leaned over it. He seems to be closely inspecting the forearms in particular.

"What is it?" Michael asks with no slight amount of wariness. 

"Look at the patterns on the forearms, they look like computer wiring and is that- Is that a microchip or something? Gavin look at this! These look like actual microchips!" Jeremy yells toward Gavin, who's standing off toward the edge of the clearing on the phone with Ryan.

Gavin halts his conversation to gag a bit more, before continuing to explain what's going on to Ryan.

"Wait, why are you calling Ryan and not the police?" Michael all but shouts at Gavin "Ryan can't do anything about this! You should be calling the police! I'm gonna call the police!"

"Wait, Michael! Did you look at this person? They couldn't have died of natural causes. If you think about how young they are with that they're in the middle of the woods, and this stuff in their arms. What could it be? How did they even get here? Jack said we were half an hour from town and there's nothing else out here for miles." Jeremy says, still closely inspecting the body, trying to find any other visible oddities.

"No. You're not saying- No. Nope. You've both lost your shit. You can't seriously tell me you think this was aliens. They probably came out here themselves and overdosed on something. There's a perfectly sound explanation here and neither of you are seeing it." Michael disputes.

"He's probably right, you know." Ryan says from behind them, the three gents having come over when Gavin called. It wasn't hard to find them as neither party wandered far into their respective sides of the road, and given Michael's yelling.

"But Ryan, look." Jeremy points at the arms of the body. "I've never even heard of this being any kind of body modification. What else could it be?" 

Ryan sighs and takes a look for himself. His eyebrows furrow in confusion as he takes a closer look. 

"Well, you're right that it doesn't look like any body modification I've ever seen, but that doesn't mean it's not a thing. People do some really strange things with their bodies." He says, stepping away. "Can we call the police now?"

"Yeah, just give me a second." Geoff says as he snaps some photos.

"Goddamn it Geoff, why do you have to take pictures of a corpse?" Jack sighs exasperatedly. Really, he probably should've expected someone to take photos but he was really just hoping the children would have more common sense.


End file.
